Life Lessons

Sorry that I left for so long, but I’ve been really busy. It should be known that the transition into adulthood is no easy feat. Apparently, at this stage in our lives, the only way to truly learn is to make mistakes. I’m going to share with you some that I’ve made so far, and the lessons I’ve learned. Look at me! I’m so cute…learning shit left and right. I digress…

Exhibit 1: Finding a place to live when your lease is up.

And here I thought shit would just fall into place. Get my ass on craigslist, choose from 3 apartments MAXIMUM, and call it a day. If being wrong were scaled on a one-to-ten basis, I would have scored a solid eleven point five. I went with a friend who I am planning on moving in with to see what felt like a million apartments, but were realistically probably about ten. We saw one perfect in the midst of the other appetite suppressing pads. Finding a place to live, building a home, and making yourself feel the level of comfort that you felt when your parent(s) put a roof over your head simply because they had to, is hard. I jumped from place to place frantically scrounging for a place to live. I hated where I was previously, the place that will infamously go down as “hipster hell”. Now, don’t get me wrong, my floor is my closet for the most part, but I work two jobs, I’m tired, and I don’t come home at midnight with any particular urge to clorox my bathroom from head to toe. However, it should be stated that as you start to get older, your standards for living situations will rise, and living in squalor is simply not acceptable. End of story.

Lesson:

Don’t put shit off. Trust the people you live with. Respect yourself, your friends, your possessions, your bathroom (and those who share it with you), and everything else that could obviously, or not so obviously affect the way you start each day. It’s a serious stress reliever when your shit is together, and you have a nice, clean, and organized place to rest your head at the end of the day.

Exhibit 2:  Stretching yourself out too thin.

I’ve been finding myself taking 5 hour bus rides, spending money on unnecessary traveling, going out every weekend, and being tired as hell when my work week would start. I would rationalize it by saying, “Oh! Its summer!” or “But I work so hard, I should be allowed to have down time!” and other things of that nature. All of that is fine, but I started to realize the toll it was taking on me, and I decided to put myself first.

Lesson:

Your 20’s are awesome because you’re still young, mildly cool, energetic, and willing. So willing that sometimes you want to do everything and take every opportunity that presents itself to you, because when will a chance like that ever come again, right?  Wrong. Don’t go to that party, or travel hours to see your friends if you’re working on 3 hours of sleep per night. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Start to become more conscious of the things you tell people you’ll do, for several reasons. The first reason for this obviously, is to not seem like an asshole when you back out of things last minute. The second, and maybe not so obvious, but just as important reason is that you need to take time for yourself. It’s not absolutely necessary to go out every Friday and Saturday night. Stay in, be a ham, lounge, listen to music, paint, read, mediate, do something where you are totally alone in your thoughts. This is healthy for the mind and the soul; you will also save a shit ton of money.

Exhibit 3: Ridding yourself of negative thoughts and people.

I’ll never have enough money, I’ll never be at my optimal health, he’ll never understand what he actually does to me, my parents are annoying, I think he thinks I’m crazy, I use Facebook too much, my Boss is a psychopath, etc….

I have so many complaints, and I know I’m not the only one, but feeding into the negative thoughts gets you absolutely nowhere, except in your bed at 3pm with the lights off. I feel like I have a million thoughts every day, and every time I think of something that stresses me out, I think of another thing, and it grows and grows until I want to lay my head on my desk and scream and cry like a spoiled four year old. I also have some people in my life that I would be better off without. As I get older, I’m starting to learn that things aren’t always going to be about being surrounded by a ton of people, just to feel less alone. I’d consider myself lucky to have five people on speed dial that I could call during a catastrophic time in my life, whether good or bad.

Lesson:

Get your ass up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone is broke (and broken for that matter), everyone is scared shitless, and everyone is trying to keep their heads above water. You can’t assume anything about anyone, and you have no idea what people might be going through behind closed doors. Feeling depressed or sad? Eat better, work out, mediate, or pray (if that’s your thing). Join a gym with a friend, take yoga or spinning classes, go hiking, do something that is good for your body. It is scientifically proven that people who are physically active tend to have a more positive outlook on life. Get moving. You’ll see a significant difference in your mood. And remember, no one likes to be around a miserable buzz kill, so don’t be that guy.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is bad to you, leave them. If your “friend” puts you down and makes you feel like shit, disband yourself from them. It’s not the end of the world. We’re in our twenties we have plenty of time to meet “the one” or make new friends. Taking the first few steps towards these separations is the hardest, but it’s necessary and you’ll be doing yourself a great justice.  

Respect yourself. Respect yourself. Respect yourself. Know your worth, and remember that anyone who treats you like shit should be kicked to the curb, immediately. Don’t put up with anyone treating you like you’re less than human.

(** This does not apply to people who have been diagnosed with clinical depression. If you think are you suffering from this, consult a family member, friend, or doctor, and disregard everything I’m saying. I’m not an idiot, and I know that actual depression can’t be cured by eating vegetables and going for daily runs. I’m only speaking to the twenty-something’s that don’t think life is fair and are “suicidal” because they are not millionaires yet.)

I have so many more experiences and life lessons to share with you all, but work beckons me. To be continued. Now I just hope I can take my own advice.